No, this is not the title of the most recent horror flick to hit theaters, it's an honest question...and I want to know your answer!
I'll start.
So I drive a 2006 PT Cruiser named Pheobe. She's periwinkle, and the inside of her is like a walking advertisement for Waste Management, but we still love each other. A lot of times people ask me why I selected her for my automobile, and I give a lot of reasons. "I like the color." "She was affordable." "I like to drive mini-hearses in bizarre colors." etc. Well, few people know the real reason I selected Pheobe, so feel honored by your now inclusion to this elite group.
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| THE PHEOBS |
While, no, I don't care all that much about make, model, color, interior, or other superfluous aspects of vehicles, there is one attribute that is non-negotiable: having four doors.
Is it starting to click, yet?
In the back of my twisted, overly paranoid (yet logical!) mind, my adult self is reverting back to the hundreds of scary movies I have seen that involve some sort of chase between the villain and the victim. Let me paint a worst-case-scenario picture for you:
Three of my friends and I are walking to my car from a long day at the beach. It's a two-door Honda Civic. All of a sudden (gasp!) Swamp-Man appears on the shore, and begins chasing us down! Struggling to sprint in flip flops, two of us make it to the car ahead of the others...and Swamp-Man is right on their tails! The other two finally make it to the car but, in my panic, I've dropped the keys! I have just enough time to open the door, unlock the passenger door, and then there is a split second to make a life or death decision:
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| AHHH! |
Option 1: Should I fold back the seats and let the slow pokes in, leaving my other friend and I vulnerable? If we get killed first, then the doors remain open and unlocked for Swamp-Man to reach my other friends. Besides, we all know how long it actually takes for people to get behind the retarded folding seats: too long. Not only will my quick-like-a-fox friend and I surely perish, but there's more than a good chance we all will. No bueno.
Option 2: Should I hop in with the shotgun passenger and leave the other two stranded? If I hop in with my (not slow) friend and immediately lock the doors, my other two friends may have a chance to escape if they can run. Plus, I now have the opportunity to try to run Swamp-Man over with my car, provided he doesn't have absurd Jeepers Creepers like jumping abilities.
As you can see, option 2 is the winner here. Will my friends maybe die? Yes, and that would suck, but the survival rate overall would improve, and we have to think globally in these times of distress.
Here's the beautiful thing, though. With Pheobe, I don't have to choose between my friends living or dying! Provided I never travel with more than four people, my sufficiently-doored PT Cruiser has enough room for everyone to survive and that, my friends, is my Horror Movie 101: Lesson Learned-
ALWAYS HAVE A FOUR DOOR VEHICLE!
(Unless you're a selfish prick and want your friends to die.)
So...it's your turn! Now YOU get to tell ME what life lessons you've taken out of horror flicks. Comment on my post, or e-mail me at chiapet_45 AT hotmail DOT com to let me know! I'll take the top ones and post them on my blog for all to read, but in order for that to happen, you've got to get in touch with me. I'm dying to hear from you. :)
-Corri
